Cinematic Humor Fan Gifts

"this is Justin, our special effects man."

Skipping Horse

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Why do they do that?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Giraffe Umbrella

Bad fake tan day.

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

A Fairytale Update

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Vlad the Impala

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

"That'll be five bucks."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.