Cinema Buddy Gifts

"Shockingly, your hubby and I have long been lovers..."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Leslie Caron.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Bloody hell!"

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

The Pink Bantha

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"The Eggsorcist"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

This side is the gag reel.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

Tom Hanks

Star Wars Audience

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

Hooray for Bollywood!

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

Cinéma Vérité

King kong 5 G.

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

THE WICKERMAN (Hollywood style)