Cinderella Supporter Gifts

Ugly sisters

National Everything Awareness Day

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

Men can show their emotions!

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

The Quantum Mechanic...

"Yes, I'm sure it's my glass slipper - arch supports, odor-eaters, and you can see where I chipped away some glass for my bunions."

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'Read me the fairy tale about Obama!'

"There's nothing sick about liking to dress up in grandmother's clothing."

Korney Ivanovich Chukovsky

'Could you give me big tits?'

"Bore me to sleep, Daddy."

One cappuccino please, and I wanted to give you this. A note. How formal. Dear small local independent coffee house ... I went to Starbucks this morning. I'm sorry. Can you ever forgive me? What if I agree to purge what I ate? The written apology is sufficient.

"Well in this case, Cynthia, it was judicious not to postpone marriage."

"And this little piggy said, 'Putting aside the fact that we are domesticated pigs, and can subsist quite well on a diet of corn and grains, there is the very real and disturbing possibility that the roast beef you're eating was our dear friend Margie.'"

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

Small store loses out to glossy big store

"I couldn't believe it either, but Heaven really is a dumbed-down book fair."

How to Save the Los Angeles Dodgers

I found the most amazing Youtube show. It's about an angel who helps people. Oh yeah? Yeah. And he drives around with some burly guy with a big beard. They wear '80s clothes and don't have any special effects. It's a perfect period show. Wait … are you talking about "Highway to Heaven"? That's not a period show, that was made in the '80s. Even you have to know that. Thanks for ruining it for me.

'The amazing part isn't that she found Prince Charming... but that she did it without some dating service!'

Rudolph's Bad Idea - A Wiener Dog Sleigh!

"You'll have to chuck it back- it's Kylie Minnow."

Spotty

'It's being recalled. It seems one of them turned into a pumpkin one night.'

'Whomsoever the shoe fits, I shall thee wed!'

Alberich

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