Cigarette Police Gifts

Smokers not putting their cigarette butts in the bin person so frustrated he puts the smoker in the bin

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

'Just think Nigel, if you weren't wearing grey socks and sandals this could be romantic.'

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

'Excuse me,sir-those wouldn't happen to be your cigarette butts,would they?'

'I told you smokefree bars wouldn't be the end of it!'

Fire at the Bisto Factory

Albert Camus.

Grim reaper with a notepad passes a group of smokers

Man in pub reads book: The Joy of Cigs.

'Smoking section, please.'

"I don't care if all your friends like that. You go back and put on some more insulation, young lady!"

Warning.

This is a place of work, Harris. Go home and change.

"We need to find the packs of filtered cigarettes."

Tieing smoking to the stock market: 'Are you kidding! I can't quit while the market is so volatile!'

"I'll keep thinking inside the box as long as they let me smoke in the box."

'Don't look now, but there's my former flame.'

'Ready, set,...'

"I can't say I'm all that surprised."

'I prefer these imported cigarettes - they don't have a health warning.'

Passenger on a train blaming a clerical man for smoking

Grim Reaper helpfully offers a smoker a light.

"Hello. I'm the bluebird of good taste and I seem to be lost."

"I'll trade you two of my chocolate bars for five of your cigarettes."

"And keep your eyes peeled for tobacco smugglers."