Church Music Lovers Pillows

"You can stay in the praise band, but no more devil horns after every set."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Hildegard von Bingen

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"That's our new church mascot."

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

Four Chanting Monks

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

Hallelujah!

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

Pope Francis

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

Heavenly voices.

Vicar

Choirboy

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."