Church Humor Admirer Pillows

"You need to make more mistakes like that, Pastor. Your sermon just went viral."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Monk Prompt

How's my sermon. . .

'Even More Disciples'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

"...and in conclusion..."

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Bishops Snooker

The ten ammendments

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Finger puppets in church.

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Church restrooms

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

Applause

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Eucharist

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'