Church Harmonizer Pillows

"I'm thinking that guitar is not appropriate for the worship band."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

French horn.

Violin family at Christmas

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

Hanukkah tree

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

Four Chanting Monks

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

Nocturne

Choirboy

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

Trumpet and birds

'Ned taps his pencil, Jill hums and Bill whistles - form a band, guys, and take it on the road!'

"It's the new church organ."

Didgeridoos

'Ok, Flight of the Bumblebee ... once more with feeling'

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

"Thank you, but I don't feel it's necessary for you to play 'Charge' when I invite people to the altar."

"No, this is the choir, NOT your backup group."

Carols

Romantic Music

"No pre-recorded music in this church. It's all 100% organic!"

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

Carolling

Congregation

'It could be worse. In Hell you play the bagpipes.'