Church Harmonizer Pillows

"I'm thinking that guitar is not appropriate for the worship band."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

French horn.

Violin family at Christmas

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

Hanukkah tree

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

Nocturne

Four Chanting Monks

Trumpet and birds

Choirboy

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

'Page 37 in your hymnals and selection #15 on your iPods.'

'Ned taps his pencil, Jill hums and Bill whistles - form a band, guys, and take it on the road!'

Sinead O'Connor.

Didgeridoos

"It's the new church organ."

'Ok, Flight of the Bumblebee ... once more with feeling'

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

"No, this is the choir, NOT your backup group."

"Thank you, but I don't feel it's necessary for you to play 'Charge' when I invite people to the altar."

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

Carols

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

Carolling

"No pre-recorded music in this church. It's all 100% organic!"

Romantic Music

Do we really need auto-tune.

Congregation