Church And State Dynamics Fan Gifts

Church and State Keep Away.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

A child as a pet substitute.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"We need to have a serious talk."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Conclave.

Well, obviously we can't live with my parents

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't tell your Dad about the Easter Bunny till next year."

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

Audience with the Parent

"This cat has got to go on a diet...he weighs 78 pounds!"

Mom's Mortuary

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

'I love all of your brothers and sisters, but you're my favorite.'

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ