Christmas Tree Hunter Pillows

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

The Big Tree

'You can rely on Bryan to keep Christ in Christmas.'

Masky Christmas!

'...My tree! - No my tree!!'

An Elf Pervert: 'Just put these on...see if they fit.'

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

'I fixed it so we got the night off!'

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

'computer says no.....el!'

"Dad, can you get one that has a toy inside?"

Even Santa outsources

"Of course it's going to fit!"

"Ever had one of those days where you don't feel the least bit jolly?"

King reaching for an apple

"What did you think we do after the holidays?"

Xmas tree

Carbon-Friendly Christmas Tree

"I have no idea why there has been zero company this year, but, hello, BEST holiday ever!"

"Santa gets away with it because it shakes like a bowl full of jelly, not beer."

Bauble

Pantomime dame: 'Has anyone seen my successful TV and film career?' Audience: 'It's behind you!'

Santa getting a Xmas wrapper design tattoo.

Christmas Party Pick-up Lines.

'A toy for a six-year-old boy? Certainly, Ma'am -- conventional or nuclear?'

"My client seeks damages incurred as a direct result of your interpretation of what constitutes naughty or nice."

Santa with a support for his sack.

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

'You're Steve from menswear. I read it on wikileaks.'

Rudolf the Red-Blooded Reindeer.