Christmas Snackers Mugs

"But if we add to Santa's cholesterol we could be ruining him for future generations."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"The bagels are better in New York."

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Sinking Sand

Bedside Manna.

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

Turkey Sandwich anyone?

"We grind our own catnip."

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

Flight Crew Holiday Treats

Husband eats popcorn wife is stringing for Christmas tree.

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

Large man uses 'Fat Nav' to lead him to large Christmas pudding.

'Halloween, Thanksgiving, and at last it's really you...the Big Enchilada!'

'Where did you get the idea that crackers are a minimum daily requirement?'

When Mrs Murray said you should vary your diet I don't think she meant to just try all 16 flavours of POT NOODLES.

'Tell me more about this strange man...'

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"I see. And precisely what methods did you use to determine that my client was a 'bad boy'?"

'You know, hors d'oeuvres are completely lost on your side of the family.'

Two prisoners pull a Christmas cracker, the free gift is a hacksaw.

'Every crowd has a silver lining!'

'Not eucalyptus leaves again!'

Working from home.

"Have you ever thought about putting out, instead of pretzels, maybe peanuts?"

"Dad, what is a meal?"

American 'Idle'.

A cow is for milking not just for Christmas!