Christmas Inventor Pillows

"Young Frankenstein"

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

Cut out and keep your own Baby Jesus.

Poinsettia

Helio-Bot

"So, if you'll just bring me the 3-D printer, I can take it from there."

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

Santa's elevator

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

"How's it going with the automatic bagpipe?"

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

Sugar Cube Machine

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Nerg and Ooma Invent the Wheel.

Young Aeronaut on Leave Helping his Father to Mow the Lawn

'And what makes you think there's a market for golden eggs?'

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

Santa Goes Hybrid.

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

'I did some investigating. The guy is an actor.'

Chimney-Greasing Santa

'It mightn't be HD, but it's Christmassy!'

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

Book about the real meaning of Christmas is on sale.

Please give so I don't have to sell reindeer blood for wine money.

"I just got so sick of the smell of carrots."

Christmas Family Gliders

"He's say's he's eaten 200,000,000 mince pies, drank 150,000,000 glasses of wine, eaten 300,000,000..."

"Ha! This year I'm going to send my stuff by e-mail!!"

"And we need some Christmas cards too. . . Get the ones made from recycled paper. . . no point wasting trees. . ."