Christmas Inventor Pillows

"Excuse me, but will you be long?"

"Young Frankenstein"

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

Cut out and keep your own Baby Jesus.

Poinsettia

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

"So, if you'll just bring me the 3-D printer, I can take it from there."

Helio-Bot

Santa's elevator

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

All my gifts come from Amazon anyway, so instead of asking Santa, I'm asking Alexa.

"How's it going with the automatic bagpipe?"

Sugar Cube Machine

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Nerg and Ooma Invent the Wheel.

Young Aeronaut on Leave Helping his Father to Mow the Lawn

'And what makes you think there's a market for golden eggs?'

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

Santa Goes Hybrid.

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

Book about the real meaning of Christmas is on sale.

'It mightn't be HD, but it's Christmassy!'

Always looking for ways to increase sales, the creative team at Mayflower Greeting Cards brainstorms new sending occasions.

Chimney-Greasing Santa

'I did some investigating. The guy is an actor.'

"There are never sleigh tracks on our roof, or soot tracks on our carpet. Maybe you're just fake news?"

Please give so I don't have to sell reindeer blood for wine money.

The Original Bobsled.

"I just got so sick of the smell of carrots."

Christmas Family Gliders

"He's say's he's eaten 200,000,000 mince pies, drank 150,000,000 glasses of wine, eaten 300,000,000..."

"Ha! This year I'm going to send my stuff by e-mail!!"