Christmas Gift Innovator T-Shirts

"Yes, but a book token is lighter"

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

Self Serve Road Repair.

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"So, if you'll just bring me the 3-D printer, I can take it from there."

e-procurement

"Thank you for computerising the company - you are now obsolete, Goodbye."

Now Selling: All-these-houses-llok-alike-but-it's-what-you-do-with-them Acres.

'I thought you said you did ships in bottles.'

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

Baldo suggests getting a frying pan for his tia and she hits him in the head with it.

The iSaw.

"Respect man!"

'Product diversification, I like that.'

' ...so we decided to put in our own flood protection scheme.'

Clean underwear for sale.

"Excuse me, but will you be long?"

Acme quick sand

Always looking for ways to increase sales, the creative team at Mayflower Greeting Cards brainstorms new sending occasions.

'I don't get it. What does P.l.d.n.L.S. spell?'

"I'll never forget the day Dad bought me x-ray specs for Christmas."

'No, I won't pay $200 for a silk top hat for your snowman!'

"Yes, it is an interesting coffee table, isn't it? My husband made it from an old telly we never use."

When you mentioned a t-shaped bracket...

Doris' diy bum lifts proved to be a great weight-loss method.

"Hunting and gathering are okay, Dad, but I'd like to get into research and development!"

Please give so I don't have to sell reindeer blood for wine money.