Christmas Folklore Fan Pillows

'A child was abducted from our nursery.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Vlad the Inhaler

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Bigfoot"

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

Buoyed by his past success, William Tell sought even greater challenges,

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Tonight we are going out to plunder, lads!"

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Santa called but you were out!

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Santa's wash day.

St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Well of course there are no snakes, have you not heard of St Patrick, at all, at all?'

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Balding gnomes

"I'm getting too old for this..."

Edna spots the ever elusive Loch Ness Monster.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."