Christmas Family Gathering Gifts

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

Tartine

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Zoo.

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'Ahhh...'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Christmas Tree

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Hi-yah!"

"Ours is not a creative clan."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

True confessions.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"