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"Any qualifications other than being named Daniel?"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

The ten ammendments

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

"Hallelujah!"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

Moral Outrage.

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

"Can we discuss this?"

Self raising Lazarus.

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

Honk if you Love Jesus

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

"Dude....I just came back from the dead! I need a coffee, not a bloody chocolate egg!"

'Great sermon, Reverend! -- If I ever want to find out more about sin, I sure know who to come to!'

"Eve had a good sense of humor. She took a lot of ribbing on the job."

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin..."

Reading the Bible.