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"Any qualifications other than being named Daniel?"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

A surprise in heaven

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

The ten ammendments

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"Hallelujah!"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

Moral Outrage.

Self raising Lazarus.

"Can we discuss this?"

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

Honk if you Love Jesus

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

Priest walks by a religious book shelf and and a Satan book pops out to hit him on the head.

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

"Sir, booing the Pastor is not allowed."

"Eve had a good sense of humor. She took a lot of ribbing on the job."

Pope's blessing.

Reading the Bible.

"Dude....I just came back from the dead! I need a coffee, not a bloody chocolate egg!"