Cholesterol Monitors T-Shirts

"But if we add to Santa's cholesterol we could be ruining him for future generations."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Sawdust.

'What about the cholesterol?'

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

Patient sees smiling doctor and mean-looking doctor: 'Oh, I get it ? it's the old good cholesterol/bad cholesterol routine.'

'I intend to stay as CEO of this organisation come hell or high cholesterol.'

Woman and scales.

'What's with my cholesterol problem, Doc - all I eat is grass and grain!'

Everything Deep Fried. . . Food Shaming

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

Good egg, bad egg.

'The thin person inside you screaming to get out seems to have cholesterol poisoning.'

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

'Is there something you're not telling me, Doctor?'

' ... and a side order of statins.'

'With my new heart I have to worry about cholesterol.'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

'Your cholesterol is off the chart. . . Better cut down on the bacon.'

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

Good Cholesterol / Bad Cholesterol.

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

The Walrus and the Spoilsport

'Good news! Your cholesterol is the very, very bad kind!'

I'll call for an ambulance. He's losing choleseterol.

I burned 3200 more calories yesterday than I consumed!!! You went for a long run? No. Oh. Well you must've followed my usual regimen: cross-fit, a few hours of weights … followed by several hours of evading jealous boyfriends. I forgot to enter the calories I consumed into my fitness app. You'd be surprised how many calories you burn evading buckshot.