Chinese Learner Pillows

'She's taking Chinese and algebra this semester. Go on, Francine, speak a little algebra for them...'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'

"You got a D in English and an E in French, but Swedish isn't a problem?!"

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

Illegal Immigrants

'Where's the mouse for this thing?'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'My French is not so good.'

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

I see we have the same summer reading list. ABC.

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

'Apparently, there's some sort of language barrier for me when money talks.'

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

Modern Studying

"I don't mind being wrong. That doesn't bother me at all! What bothers me is when other people know I'm wrong."

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

English As A Second Language

"Omnipotent?! I thought you said impotent. And you're out of wished, too."

'Pete plays truant, but keeps up with his lessons!'

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'