Chilly Swim Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Wait! Don't get in. . . It's totally cold.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Snow flake

Good News about winter

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

It's supposed to get cold tonight.

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

Electric Blanket.

'Let it go, Amy.'

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude...'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Cold Enough to Freeze Brass Monkeys.

Mankini - One size fits all.

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

Lapdogs

"My f-f-feet are f-f-frozen."

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

'...and the temperature is controlled by a thermostat which keeps it at a controlled zero year round.'

'The temperature isn't too bad at -15, but when you add on the wind chill factor... '

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'Honey, I'm looking fat in white!' 'Trust me, dear. In a few months, the pounds will be melting away.'

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

Ice Fishing.

"It's nine degrees, but with the wind chill it feels like minus two hundred seventeen."

"Whale meat again – don't know where, don't know when..."

"We switched over. It’s cheaper, and polls show sinners are far more miserable in a cold climate."

Brighton boatman offering the hire of a pleasure boat on a very cold day

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

Igloo Building.

Snowman arriving home to his Refrigerator Home

"No. Have to say we don't get many tourists around here!"