Children's Party Curator Mugs

"I curate children's parties."

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Face painting by numbers.

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Children's Party

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

Why kangaroos hate birthday parties.

Person carrying balloons and plants.

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Do that again, but cuter."

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"The humans would have really enjoyed this."

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

"Ugh, I was afraid he'd be here."

Maypole

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

'I hate it when he has friends around'.

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

Biodegradable helium balloons.

'It's a deal then-I'll waive my fee if you'll do my son's birthay party..'

'Got to keep the little ones entertained!'

"It's states CLEARLY on my website, I'm an evil clown."