Children's Librarian T-Shirts

"Celebrating St. Patrick's Day??? No, no. . . we're big Dr. Seuss fans."

"Ancient times? Is that like when my grandmother was young?"

Swan Fairy Tales

Early 3D technology applied to a book - creating a pop-up book

"I'm entering the school talent show!"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Big Bang Theory.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"Meet the scribe"

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

The Bookworm

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'