Children's Bedtime Expert T-Shirts

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Late night teddy reading

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'She's just great with the children.'

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'