Childhood Rival Pillows

'I'm not playing house with Jennifer any more -- she always wins!'

Polygamists' Picnic

"He loves his leaf blower."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'Wanna see my tadpole collection?'

The Sculptor

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

A heated argument between dons of applied maths and ancient history.

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

Little schoolboy enjoys picking his nose.

'Peabody, Yomp, Lee, Brodski & Dirkshaw...buddies since 4th grade.

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."

"Face it, Carl. We outgrew each other."

"Mom always liked you best."

"An area where a specific species lives. . . like my older sister in the bathroom."

"I'm for universal coverage but not for cats."

Poker Moms

"When I was 5 years old, I put all my money in a pickle jar. Of course, my money was soggy and the pickles tasted funny."

'The only reason I take him with me wherever I go, is because the thought of kissing him goodbye makes me feel sick!'