Childhood Reflectionists Gifts

Musical Chairs: Because kids don't already have a hard time fitting in.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"I want a pony!"

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

Rapunzel as a child.

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

"Eve, do you realize that neither you nor I ever had a childhood?"

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

Boys happy playing and singing in the snow and ice

"I'm looking for a day care provider. . . besides TV."

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

Doing timeout changes a guy.

"...Well, where was he when I needed the red Power Ranger?"

'Dad...why would I ever want to get out of the first grade? I love first grade!'

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"Someday we'll look back on these and-times and be really envious."

"When I was 5 years old, I put all my money in a pickle jar. Of course, my money was soggy and the pickles tasted funny."

"O.K., now, when a teacher comes out, everybody look straight up."

'My composition is 'parental discipline and what we can do about it'.'

'I've sussed this work/life balance...'

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

Things to do before you die...

'Our doctor told me to give up sugar and spice and everything nice.'