Childfree Champion Pillows

'Boy, I'm glad I've met you: It is so hard to find a partner who, like me, doesn't want children...'

"Just go home already Walter. I know you don't have kids to pick up."

Interior design trends for parents....

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'Is that why our games of hide and seek are over so quickly?'

Family courts.

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

"I'm a stay-at-home mom without kids."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

Little schoolboy enjoys picking his nose.

"Brad? This is your congressman. Get Mommy on the phone, please."

"Today a protest at the White House..."

Moral Ambiguity

"Shame on you - using a plastic straw!"

"Maybe we should just go ahead and have a kid."

Poker Moms

When vegans pose for photos.

"You can be the mom. I want to be the family friend who has plants instead of babies.'

Baby on a potty holding up a No.2 sign.

'When do you teach them how to dress themselves?'

'Honestly, they grow so quickly these days.'

"I'd like to have kids one day."

Will the last person to quit smoking please empty the ashtray!

"Families depress me."

No Smoking/second hand smoke kills.

'Clarence, it's always an inspiration to see you playing with pain.'

'So it's a deal - I'll reinitialize your hard drive and you remove this child-proof cap.'

"Before you put on a nicotine patch you need to take off the old one."

"You can either stop smoking now or wait until after your cremation."

Medusa trying to buy hair care products.

"I don't want kids - I hear they take nine months to download..."

"Must you treat me like a child?"

The Mental Health Impact of Covid

'Have you ever noticed? - People who don't have kids tend to talk a lot about their money.'

"We decided not to have kids for environmental reasons."