Child With A Pet Dog Pillows

A large leaf falling on a dog

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

'They're dog roses!'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Dog History

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

When Dogs Rule

Fetching some fuel.

Dog Sees Only Food

"He ran out of pee."

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

'No need to shout.'

Dog's game

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

'Have you seen little Spotty?'

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"The fragrance of the pines alloys so wonderfully with that dead carcass I'm about to roll in."

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

A dog at the bar having a drink out of a toilet bowl.

Autumn Dog