Child's Speech Milestone Pillows

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

Sparkler

Eagle parenting.

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Dominant hand reveal party

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

'I bronzed his first pair of running shoes.'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??