Child's Party Pillows

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'

To save some cash my parents held my 8th B'day party at Lenny's Tap + Grill....

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Face painting by numbers.

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

Green Balloon

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Children's Party

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

Why kangaroos hate birthday parties.

'...that 12th piece of fudge I ate must have been bad.'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Ramming Speed!"

"A bunch of kids next door are going berserk with a baseball bat! Call 911. I'm losing candy fast!"

"Do that again, but cuter."

The Amazing Mr Sausage

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

'I hate it when he has friends around'.

Biodegradable helium balloons.

"Are we going with scary clown? Or just plain old spooky?"

Girl who had a bowl of trifle spilt over her dress at her court presentation party the night before

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

'It's a deal then-I'll waive my fee if you'll do my son's birthay party..'

'Your mum says it's okay for you to sleep over in my pouch.'

'Oh great, we'll never win with this nerd on our team.'