Child's First Sex Ed Talk Pillows

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

Sex Education

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

"It was time you learned."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

'I'm not sticking around to find out.'

"You are here."

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

The Joy of Sioux

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

'She just said her first words...What an enormous budget deficit.'

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

'We're studying child birth in sex education. On my birthday I think YOU should get the gifts.'

WC.

Tele Condom

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'