Child's First Doctor Visit Mugs

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

A midwife holding a baby

'Well, well, well...'

"The first one's just a warning."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

Pediatrics: Anatomy

"So what brings you in today?"

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'Could you wear a Dr. Phil mask?'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'This little piggy went to the doctor's office and went 'ouch, ouch, ouch' all the way home. I just made that up.'

The Children's Hospital

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'I don't know why babies always want to pull my nose.'