Child Linguist Pillows

"Our 7-year-old daughter just called me a 'philistine.' I find myself both insulted and proud."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"I'm still pre-literate."

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

He can't talk yet, but he still gets the last word.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

It's a picture book. The words aren't called "subtitles."

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

Hey, I hear you invented the subjunctive. No, but I sure wish I had.

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"I can never remember, does 'barge' have one snake-head jackal, or two?"

Artichoking victim

Heart To Heart

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

Ernie, as a scientist you should say the birds are "making aggressive vocalizations," not "feuding with tweets."

"I've lived among them my entire life, and I can tell you, 'fetch,' 'roll over,' 'sit,' 'stay,' and 'bad dog,' is the extent of their vocabulary."

English As A Second Language

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

Primate Speech Lab. Under new management.

It's a shared responsibility... you're not right and I'm not wrong.

"Yes, I said that a man should be able to show his emotions but..."

'What really bugs me, is that we could be a cute couple, if it weren't for you.'

'Let me go over your symptoms again; you have a 'gugu' and you're feeling a little 'bugaga'.'

'He can ask 'what's for dinner' in 10 different languages.'

"He just said his first cheap, throw-away comment"

"Yo, baby, what's wrong? I thought you said you wanted to check out my crib?!"