Child Leaving For University Pillows

'So our son can't move back in -- furniture sale!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

I think it's time he left home.'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'The children are leaving the nest, honey! They're not diving in the Olympics...That was at leas a 6.5 by the way.'

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

'Eat your carrots. They are good for growing children.'

'He's trying to put three kids through college.'

"Kids in college? Well, won't it be nice to have them home?"

'They're 'individual' cheese slices, Herb, We knew one day they would go out on their own,'

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

With their only child off to college, the Gilmonts each suffered empty-nest syndrome in their own way.

"How about you slap me on the wrist and I neither admit nor deny any wrongdoing."

'Ask yourself, dear - do we need this big plaice now the children are married and gone?'

"Oh George. My heart."

'OK, so your brother's first flight was far from being a success, but have a go son!'

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

I'm forgetting which college is which. Their brochures are all alike. University of. It's always fall or spring. Apply! There's always a multi-cultural group of kids hanging out. There's always a girl in goggles working in a science lab with an ethnic-looking prof. It's reassuring. They all celebrate their diversity in the exact same way! And charge the exact same for it!

"He's at that awkward age - not completely out of the house but no longer a tax deduction."

"Already? What about my early childhood, pre-teen years, teenage years, college years, young adulthoo..."

"Daddy, I'm all grown up now, and I'm leaving to start a life of my own."

Letting Go

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"We're suffering from empty-nest syndrome."

"Our son is off at college, so as a reminder of him, I keep a dirty sock-scented candle burning in his room."

"The kids have grown up and left home...now it's YOUR turn...

'I know that we once made a list of all the things we'd do when the kids left home but I can't remember one of them!'

"Either we've been robbed or the kids left without saying goodbye."