Chessboard Courtroom Chicanery T-Shirts

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"Bailiff."

Planet of the Lawyers

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

Justice 4 Ron

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

Two lawyers in a royal court

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'