Chessboard Courtroom Chicanery Mugs

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Bailiff."

Planet of the Lawyers

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

Justice 4 Ron

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

Two lawyers in a royal court

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

'Sir, we have a problem. The attorney section is totally overcrowded!' (demon to Satan)

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'