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Playing Chess with Australians...

Gary turns 40.

COWS: Cow Pong

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

"The thing with Sudoku is I can never find the right words to fit."

"Are you going to move?"

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

Tennis Player.

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

Goldie playing chess. Check.

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

'It sure is hot in the arena tonight!'

On this date: Overly enthused and attending an NHL game en masse, the National Parole Board exceeds its mandate.

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

"Use a hockey stick – make it look like a game."

The freezer broke at the hockey rink last night. By the end of the game there was seven feet of water! They must have taken out the first string and put in the subs!

'Hey Frank! I've told you before that there is no cross checking in chess.'

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."

'It started as just as skirmish, your majesty, and suddenly escalated into a hockey game!'

'Man, that new guy is nothing but a thug!'

'Can't we have just one conversation without you getting so defensive'

'I'll look for the ball. You look for the club.'

Man singing note at doctor.

His patience running thing, the ref pushes the mute button and ends the argument.

'You're right - I never liked that racket either!'

Ice croquet.

Judge not, lest ye be judged.

'Henry's afraid of Sunday drivers.'

'Time out!'

'Squash him.'

'Now you know why they call it a spectator sport.'