Cherisher Of Chirpers Pillows

'Honey, you're spoiling those birds!'

Golfing Bishop.

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

Ornithologist

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

"The big difference between Halloween and Day of the Dead...is we look at the afterlife as a reason to celebrate...not to scare anyone."

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

'You're too young...to have good 'ol days.'

'I'm one year older and I should know better, but there are times all I want to do is tear into a new pair of slippers.'

'But toothache is the worst!'

"Think about it. Have you ever seen an ugly cardinal—I mean, except at the Vatican?"

Pied Piper gets rid of industrial chimneys.

'Donna has been taking FENG SHUI classes.'

Research Fellow Kate Jackson and her pooch, Dean Thompson.

"The bird feeder is empty again."

OUT of ORDER

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'

Parakeet Quarrels

"I like you - you're so bubbly!"

"Our goal is your complete satisfaction. But we'll settle for your money."

Overdone bird jokes

'I don't need your bloody help, I just need you to listen!'

Toot toot, toosie, Goodbye!