Chemistry Class Hero T-Shirts

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Nervous Oral Testing

Gracie's baby toys.

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Sexual chemistry set

PROBLEM AREAS

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'While outsourcing is a common business practice, you may not ousource your research and homework assignments, Fletcher.'

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

Protoplasm

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

Free Radicals.

I love Science.

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

"'Let's try the shrink ray!' you said, 'what could possibly go wrong?', you said."

"She's a high grade teacher."

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of.

Lab safety Rule No. 1

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."