Chef's Cheerleader Pillows

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'It was very good.'

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

Ice Skater

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

Congratulations on your promotion.

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Santa Claus delivers the vaccine.

Christmas Canapes

Encouraging pats on the back.

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'Maybe he'll start to move again after the world cup!'

Welcome to our team.

"You got the chip shop gig, then?"

"For the next Christmas party pot luck, let's skip the finger foods."

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'It's your WIFE'S name? When you said you were claiming an allowance for supporting CHELSEA I thought......!'

"We don't have a battle cry to get the employees revved up, but it's amazing how productive people can be when you get them doughnuts every Wednesday."

Death of the cook

There's some grumbling going on down there. The muscle fibers are complaining about getting stuck with all the heavy lifting. LDL is tired of getting called "bad" cholesterol, and the blood cells don't like all the traveling they have to do in their job. A little speck is trying to convince the brain these bad attitudes are all in the head. A little speck? Yeah, a proton is telling the brain he can take charge of the situation with the power of positive thinking!

'I'm afraid we'll have to get a Santa who can remember his lines'

It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid..

Everyone likes to feel appreciated.

"You have an outstanding balance."

"Looks like Santa left something for everyone."

"You don't have to smile THAT much when we take down the tree."

'I try to keep the Christmas Spirit all year long, but usually run out of money in March.'

Happily Scampering Off to Work on a Monday Morning