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The Cheddar College for Extra Mature Students

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"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

"If you don't stop saying 'This whole game is a charade!' we're going home."

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'This part was tenure.'

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

"Any ideas? I'm terrible with cursive writing."

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

'...Or not.'

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

'I forgot the question.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

"Hush, little baby, don’t you cry ... ever."

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'Unfortunately, I had a heart attack while playing charades.'

"Is it 'Goldfinger...?'"

"My biggest strength is probably my quads."