Checkout Line Comedians Mugs

Shopping Trolley

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

'Could you take a quick look and see if I lost a filling on the upper left row of teeth?'

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

"Trust me, this place is worth the wait."

"We have a fund with a new, advanced financial strategy but it hasn't been tested on humans.''

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

Hell for cashiers.

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

'Which eight do you want?'

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

'Quick, Lassie, our credit cards are maxed! Get help!'

"The complaint department is next door."

"I never use the Express Lane. I like to keep my money a little longer."

"Oh, that's a tricky one...now let me think...'Would I like a carrier bag..?' hmm..."

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'

'It's his mother. They're inseparable.'

"Paper or Plastic?"

Lots of people helping out with the self-service machine.

'Sorry, there are more than eight frozen peas in here.'

"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."

"Would you like me to help you pack, or throw your shopping towards you at such a speed, you experience both stress and annoyance?"

Checkouts: 10 Items or Less, Baskets Only and Shoplifters.

Words you don't ever want to hear: a pilot saying 'I keep forgetting - East: is that to the left or right of north?'

Airline queues.

'Is the scab-e-matter custard and green snot pie organic?'