Cheapskate Enthusiasts Pillows

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Online Shopping.

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"Is that neat whisky?"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

Bargains

'Drive-ins are so expensive...this is much better than a drive in.'

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

sale

Garage Sales Anonymous

Final clearance sale.

Sod orf, midges...

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

"I'm a bargain hunter."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

Happy shopper shown signs like 'We won't be undersold'

Sale-everything must go! - Big bargain on "sale-everything must go!" sign.

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

"I've made a fortune and never used my own money. Hey, can you spare a buck?"

'I want him mounted but right now I'm just getting estimates.'

Welcome to Hartland: Spend All Your Money and Leave

"For a little extra we could have got Giotto."

"Still no customers. We'll have to invent rebates!"

'Your House Wines seem rather pricey - d'you have any Bungalow Wines?'