Cheapskate Enthusiasts Pillows

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Online Shopping.

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

"Is that neat whisky?"

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"There is such a thing as a free lunch-it just tastes bad."

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

Bargains

'Drive-ins are so expensive...this is much better than a drive in.'

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

Sod orf, midges...

Final clearance sale.

sale

"Since when did they start putting perfume in aerosol cans?"

Garage Sales Anonymous

"I'm a bargain hunter."

Sale-everything must go! - Big bargain on "sale-everything must go!" sign.

Welcome to Hartland: Spend All Your Money and Leave

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

Happy shopper shown signs like 'We won't be undersold'

"I've made a fortune and never used my own money. Hey, can you spare a buck?"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

'I want him mounted but right now I'm just getting estimates.'

"For a little extra we could have got Giotto."

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'

"Still no customers. We'll have to invent rebates!"