Chatty Storyteller Pillows

"Are you voting for Trump or Harris?"

'Prejudices ready? Disbelief suspended? Here comes the rumour.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Why we need poetry. . .

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Daughters at Bedtime

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

How I met your mother

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Hog Futures

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Centaur falls in love.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

Communication

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'