Chatty Storyteller Pillows

"Are you voting for Trump or Harris?"

'Prejudices ready? Disbelief suspended? Here comes the rumour.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Why we need poetry. . .

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Daughters at Bedtime

How I met your mother

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

Hog Futures

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Centaur falls in love.

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Communication

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'