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Chatterbox Podium

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

Woman on the phone.

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I've been out of the office since I got fired."

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

Retired Talk Show Host.

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'As a teleworker Colin sometimes struggled against feelings of isolation.'

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

This problem began in the 1950's...

Rat interviewed on a Sports Chatshow.

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

Dadonomics

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

Small Talk Outlet

Jerry Springer Spaniel

Conan O'Brien

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

'In dog years, I'm 49, but in internet chat room years, I'm only 21.'

"Contestants, you have thirty seconds, two hundred and eighty characters, and an unfamiliar topic - can you find a way to make it all about you?"

Michael Parkinson interviews Muhammad Ali

Graham Norton

'I'm in the bog!'