Chart Changer Pillows

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Annual profits,

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Business is off the chart.

"It's his ego growth chart."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'