Charmingly Tardy Gifts

'Listen, pal, Happy Hour was over ten minutes ago.'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

"Planning, who's got time for planning... I don't even have time to get dressed in the morning."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

Romance in Pink

"Memo from the top, guys. Apparently the 'casual dress days' are getting a little out of hand"

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

"How about fashionably never?"

"Your being boring, stuffy and predictable is part of your charm."

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

'Sorry I'm late, Fred. I forgot to plug in the car.'

"The woman I marry will be beautiful, a great cook, intelligent, pleasant and rich."

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."

'Sorry I'm late - traffic was insane.'

'I believe in kizmet and it is our destiny to be friends for life.'

'I adore a man of many parts.'

Snake Charmer

"May I remind you, Oxley, that in this company we start work at nine and we dress for success."

"Done at last. Are you ready to head out?"

My Name is Lucky.

The clock for people who have no idea when they will be there.

'With your regular carrier overdue you'll have to use me.'

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh..."

"Sorry, babe, runnin' late, start without me."

'Edna, we're late! You don't have time for a second coat!'

'I bet I'm the first one here.'

'Sorry I'm late - I was asleep when my alarm went off.'

"I'm just going out - I may be some time..."

Schoolboy.

'I'll meet you at eleven. Just remember that I'm never on time.'