Charm Aficionado T-Shirts

Charmed, I'm sure.

If you think I've been witty and charming so far, wait until you see the word balloons I have back at my house.

'Boy can she slither!'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Mantis Love

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"Swing me with your words."

"Let's go someplace where I can talk."

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

'I'm developing a foot fetish.'

"Wanna go out?"

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

Free love

I can't bear to be without you.

'I even love the way you snore!'

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

'You are very deer to me.'

You've discovered how elderly dudes can keep picking up chicks? I've amended Giacomo's Theorem, yes. The pickup number is now direction proportional to age in instances where charm is also directly proportional to age. Journals from Milan to Vegas are publishing my findings. Of course, there's one flaw in my theory. Hold that thought, I feel some gas coming on. It won't apply to most dudes.

Lady having her hair dyed

"Time to go, guys-It's been real…!"

"...so you'll finish it off with a felt tip."

"Before I start the test, Ms. Masten....May I say you've never looked lovelier!"

'Of course you're my first - Why do you men always ask that question?'

'I love you and my hair loves you.'

Carbon Dating

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'