Character Limit Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Remember, Dance-With-Buffalo, only up to 140 clouds."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Filling the Missile Gap

"Swing me with your words."

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

An acceptable level of TV violence.

"Let's go someplace where I can talk."

Heaven

The Real Russian history

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'Sharing is saying you're my friend, without having to say 'you're my friend'.'

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'There's more to me than my books, you know.'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

"Wanna be my default best friend?"

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

You've discovered how elderly dudes can keep picking up chicks? I've amended Giacomo's Theorem, yes. The pickup number is now direction proportional to age in instances where charm is also directly proportional to age. Journals from Milan to Vegas are publishing my findings. Of course, there's one flaw in my theory. Hold that thought, I feel some gas coming on. It won't apply to most dudes.

"I like everything Big Bird's ever done."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

'Now she's jealous of my imaginary playmate.'

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

Homer

Ezra Pound

The four sides of W Amherst Faunton: Boss/husband/father/friend.

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

"Before I start the test, Ms. Masten....May I say you've never looked lovelier!"