Chaos Champions Pillows

The Unalphabetizer

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Future garbage truck driver.

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"There's more inside."

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"Hold on a second, Bob. I'm putting you on a stickie."

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Caution: use only under child supervison

Stockwell's day

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

'This is my natural habitat.'

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

"My mom said a tornado hit my room. I checked my weather app, and it said clear skies."

Turn Down For What.

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

A Mom's Purse

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

Recipes.

Businessman with novelty in and out baskets.

"A tornado? Uh, yeah...that's exactly what happened, Mom, a tornado did hit my room!"

Disorder in the Court!

Mad scientist holding bubbling flask in lab