Changing Job Environment T-Shirts

"Most of us only come in two days a week now."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

HR - Helping Relationships

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'