Changing Healthcare Provider Gifts

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"When I suggested you should walk a couple of miles a day I didn't mean to just see me!"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

'Doctors are all booked up. Nurse is busy. The best I can do is offer to type your symptoms into Google.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

Big Drug Companies Hooked

"You've got a bad case of Docwantsa Newkar."

"He's a whiz kid."

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"We've geared up our American company to provide PPE for our healthcare providers, and we need 'Made in the USA' tags to on 'em! Problem is, USA tags are all Made In China."

Meds Toast

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'Don't worry! If your self diagnosis turns out to be correct this time, this will take care of it.'

"Your tests look normal, but that's what the disease wants us to think."

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

Humanitarian Medical Work