Champion Of The Ring Pillows

"Well, I guess that settles that."

Businesswoman Empowerment

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Alarmistclock

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

What Does God Know?

Worker Rights and the Smoking Ban

Medalist wears five gold medals to form olympic rings.

Bradley Wiggins

'Right lad, now it's my turn for free expression . . . (I wish!)'

"Shoot it? Shoot it? I don't even know which end of the darn thing to aim at it!"

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

Welcome to summer school.

Dog show success

"The boring bit about cricket is waiting for them to find the ball after you've hit a six."

Drug testing for Tour de France.

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

'Don't make eye contact Harold, it's another one of those aggressive drivers.'

A boxer with a foam hand

The Statue of Liberty rescues people stuck in the shadow of the deportation force.

'I wasn't supposed to stay, but then I got hooked on these things.'

Bicycle race.

'It would be pity candy. Nobody wants pity candy.'

Henry Cooper

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much ..."

'Try to stay away from the referee's left jab!'

"I have to throw out my white noise machine - it keeps insisting 'All Lives Matter' and trying to call the cops on the neighbors."

"You mean I was cheering for a concussion?"

'Sorry, but your time on hold has expired. CLICK!'

Tennis

'You can always tell when Granny has had a good day playing bingo.'

Cull people who open car doors without checking for traffic.

"He gets a little bolder every time we pass by."

'You lose before you have a chance to lose at the next Olympics!'